Its just the distance that sucks

A lump formed in my throat as I sat down next to you. You put your arm around me and we sat there for a couple minutes. Then your chest went up and down, and you were breathing heavily. That’s when I realized, you were crying. And under your breath you said, I didn’t think it would be this hard. That’s when I my tears fell. You hugged me so tight, I felt safe for a second. Then you said sobbing, you know sweetie, we’ll always be together, its just the distance that sucks. I nodded knowing it was true. Plain and simple, its just the distance that sucks.
I’ve only seen you cry one other time ever. The first time, sucked more than when you moved to another state. Cause the person who left, not only left the state, but left the universe.
Two most sucky memories:
1. When grandma died
2. When you moved to Washington
You know we’ll always be together sweetie, its just the distance that sucks 



I have a friend, ashlin, and her life dream has been to be popular. But her idea of a popular girl is a bitch. Be in dance, play volleyball, wear nice clothes, be a bitch. That’s what will get you popular at ashlins school, and if your in the right grade, date a jock. So really she just wants to be in a group like in mean girls, or Cinderella story. So since she’s a bitch all day at school, we hang out and is a complete bitch to me and all her friends that don’t go to her school. She reminds me of those girls in movies, all nice at first, but then you hangout and she’s a total bitch. Bossing you around, yelling at you, never apologizing. Never even looking like she was sorry. She wasn’t always like, in fact this only started about a month ago. That’s why I deal with her crap. Because she’s better than this. That’s why if she gives me crap, I will give her more crap. She’s also a bitch to her parents, who have known her her whole life so they can testify that she wasn’t always a brat. They apologize to me all the time that my friend is such a brat. They have tried taking her phone away from her, they tried grounding her which meant no friends, no phone, no internet. But we all are just hoping its a teenage thing and that it will pass.

What goes through my brain

There are things I’ve done, things I never want replayed, things I never want anyone to do. And yet, somehow, someone, finds out. And I’m not in trouble, but its just to embarrassing to show my face one the street again.

Society: be yourself
Society: no not like that

Blah blah blah

No one cares

Dude, I know my ass is cute (not really) but seriously, stop touching it

I have an idea, shut up

If I die young I want all my one direction stuff buried with me

Before I die tell my family I have a blog

Yep, I’m going to hell

Life sucks

There’s always a wakeup call for me. If we don’t have money, if someone’s really sick, when someone’s dies, especially when someone dies.
Tonight was my wakeup call. I was watching a show and this lady told her family she had cancer and everyone started crying. My aunt died last Saturday morning and till now it hadn’t clicked. We where never close. But that doesn’t matter, we had good times and I loved her like I should love an aunt. Why is everyone dying? I know its the way of life. We all are dying, just some faster then others and by some I mean a lot.
She died from (what else?) Cancer. Its like its killing everyone and its stupid. And it hurts. And I hate it. And I’m angry. At cancer. Life sucks. Cancer sucks.