Do you think I don’t have feelings? Do you think I don’t hear you laugh at me behind my back? Do you think I’m stupid? When you need money you come to me. When you need to cry you come to me. When your dad drinks you come to me. When he asked you out you told me. But when my moms temper gets the best of her or I just want to hangout cause I’m bored? You push me away.
I’m sorry I’m not the perfect daughter you wanted
I’m sorry what I want is to much
I’m sorry that everything I do seems to crash and burn
I’m sorry that I know how to fix my problems, but I don’t have my family’s support
I’m sorry that putting on a tank top and skinny jeans and going partying is easier but not better than what I want
I’m sorry you don’t understand me
I’m sorry that when I try to understand you, you yell at me
I’m sorry that everything I do is wrong in your eyes
I’m sorry you don’t have time for your family but you have time for scrabble on your phone
I’m sorry that I apologize all the time even if I didn’t do anything wrong
I’m sorry I was ever born
I’m sorry I don’t listen all the time
I’m sorry for whatever else I did wrong
I’m sorry that sorry doesn’t cut it
You say all you got time for is boy, your other friends and dance
But you won’t admit it
You say that we will hang, but when I try to make the
time you call me a Bitch, and tell me to leave
you alone, so I wonder, do you still want to be friends?
I know my family doesn’t make it easy
for either of us but that doesn’t mean we can’t
be friends, if you don’t want to be friends,
To the jerk that got what he wanted and left—
There is not a song or a story or a conversation or a poem that say how angry I am with you. You said that you would be there for me, I thought you were different, I guess I was wrong. Your like the rest, you got what you wanted, then you left. If I could wake up and find that this is just a dream that would be great. So pinch me. Am I awake? Yes. But I wasn’t sleeping. So its real. You broke my heart, and that hurts. You said that you liked me, and really? I thought you did. So not demi lovato, Selena Gomez, Ariana grande, Iggy anzela, or even Taylor swift have written a song that says what I feel, cause I still like you. And that hurts even more. You hurt me and now I’m hurting myself by still liking you.
When I cry my tears I don’t want you to ask why, I want you to understand.
Understand that he is moving. Understand that he’s been here 7 years.
Understand that this is hard for me cause he’s family. Understand I’m trying to be brave. Understand that for those who have lost to much already losing more is worse than the worst pain. Understand that I’m already not living life, I’m just living. So when he leaves in less than 5 weeks I will cry tears and they will not be happy ones. So please understand.
The stuff I did the other day, when the whole world fell apart, its still in peoples heads. And I’m sorry but there are worse things I could be doing than flirting with a boy or coloring my nails with a sharpie marker. I could be pregnant, drunk, high and a whole bunch more, my point is you tell me to be myself, but no flirting, no coloring your nails like that, no playing your music to loud, no eating half a half gallon of ice cream at midnight. And then you ask why I’m bored! Well I’m sorry! I’m bored because I’m following your rules! The ones you made! No you can’t watch a movie right now, no you can’t apply to soccer this year to expensive. I’m tired of trying to follow every rule you make, but to live my life and have a life, your gonna have ta loosen up.
Tired of life
Tired of the name calling
Tired of the teasing
Tired of the questions
Tired of the pain you leave behind
Tired of being left with the guilt
Tired of pretending
Tired of the lies
Tired of hiding
Tired of pretending the tears aren’t there
Tired of answering all the questions
Tired of you thinking its funny
Tired of being nice when your not
Tired of making excuses
Tired of not being pretty
Tired of my body
Tired of being tired just because of your attitude
Tired of you screaming at me when I so much as touch something of yours
Tired of your attitude toward me, your parents and him
I’m tired of my bestie only wanting to hang with my cousin not me
I’m tired of my Bestie pretending she’s not being a brat
I’m tired of all hell that she raises when I don’t include my cousin in everything even walking to her house for water
I’m tired of crying in my room alone while their hooking up
I’m tired of being the third wheel
I’m tired of being used
I’m tired of her screaming every time I touch arm to get her attention
I’m tired of her poking me gently and when I gently poke her back she screams but only when my cousin is around
Does she think she’s sexy screaming every time someone touch’s something of hers
I don’t know
All I seem to is know is that I’m tired of her crap that I have to deal with because all the rest of her friends are tired of it.