Live in the moment, not the memory I’ve heard other people say this (celebs and such) but it never really was my motto until I realized that my grandma was dead and that’s what I was doing. There had been so many good times and I never lived in the moment, I never tried to use what time was left to have the best time with my grandma, or my grandpa, or my oldest brother, or my dad. I feel like my life is filled with all these regrets because I was always pushing people away or being just inside the party. Like I’ve just got my nose peeping out of my shell. I don’t want my nose just peeping out of my shell. I want to stand on my own 2 feet and not hide behind watching the kids at reunions, party’s, weddings. I just don’t know if I know how. I’m still trying to find my voice, and now I’m trying to find myself, but when I say I’ll do something lord knows I’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen, when I say I will start something, I will also end it. Its just a matter of how.